Broken
by iamtheoutcast
Summary: YouTubers High School AU! What if our favs had met in school? Phan, other ships too! Please enjoy. BTW, this includes Smosh, SmoshGames, FANTASTIC FOURSOME, Tyler Oakley, Troye Sivan, and more! Dan's perspective. Give it a read and a review! Llamas!
1. Run From You

I was different, I knew that. So did everybody else. There was no denying it.

You know how they always tell you over and over growing up that 'different is good'? Yeah, no. Not at all. Being different means no one talks to you, people give you odd looks when you approach them in the halls. You don't have all that many friends, normally, but luckily for me I found a group of social outcasts, screw-ups, and weirdos, who instantly befriended me.

Well, not _exactly._ Here's how things got started-

I moved here from England in a fit of anger and desperation to defy my overbearing parents' laws, and really, just my parents. We had never been much of a family, but that night, something happened that made me just... _snap. _

There I was, nervously scarfing down Maltesers on the couch and squinching my eyes shut tight. Tonight, they would see it. Mum and Dad would see my report card.

It's not what you're thinking, I promise! I had gotten As in every subject...

Except for the one that really, truly mattered.

Gym.

Now, Gym was an extra-curricular and so really, should it matter that I'd recieved a 79%? The sane person's answer would be, _don't sweat it! _But my father? He would see absolutely nothing but that grade, and in it, my lack of manliness, of masculinity. He wanted a son that could intimidate people.

I felt like he wished I'd never been born.

Sometimes I wished that same thing.

_Tick-tock..._

They'd be home soon.

And I'd have to face them. I'd be forced to stand there with my head down as he screamed profanities and insults in my face and she sat and watched, knowing I'd never impress them no matter what I did.

_Slam!_

The front door banged open, and my heart stopped. Here it came.

_I'm sorry I'm not the kid you wanted, _I thought. _I'm sorry I'll never be him. I'm sorry you didn't give birth to someone with perfect genes and surrounded always by a crowd of friends._

This endless rain of apologies pounded down in my mind as my Dad took a glance at the scrap of paper on the countertop and roared furiously.

_"Get in here, you Goddamn son of a bitch!" He shouted. I rose on shaky legs and walked to the kitchen._

_"Y-yes, sir?"I stammered quietly._

_"Would you care to explain," He snarled menacingly through his teeth, making me flinch, "How you have a fucking __C_ in _Gym?!" _I shrugged, the lack of answers stunning. I heard footsteps behind me, but didn't bother to turn my head- it was only Mum, wanting a nice look at my torture.

"Can't you do anything right, you worthless piece of shit?!" He screeched, and then _it _happened. He rose his hand and did the unthinkable.

He smacked me, hard, right across the face. And at that moment, I shattered. He'd won, I was broken. Just like he wanted. And so I rose to my feet, his horrid voice, equivelant to eighteen cats being dragged across a blackboard, backgroung noise. Everything sounded like it was underwater.

And so I grabbed his credit card off of the coffee table, dashed to my room, and barricaded the door as I began tossing random articles of clothing into an open bag on my bed. I threw open the window, prepared to leave, but then thought of something.

I yanked a piece of paper and a pencil out of my schoolbag and scribbled out a note-

_Good-bye, here's to starting anew. Enjoy my eternal absense._

Then I jumped out of the window and climbed silently to the sidewalk, where I broke out at a sprint.

I didn't know where I was going, but I knew one thing- I wasn'tgoing back. Ever.

* * *

><p>Two days later, his credit card shut off. Neither of my parents even looked for me. I hadn't expected them to.<p>

I used my last quarter to phone my friend PJ and ask for a place to stay.

After that, things went pretty smoothly- Peej's parents helped me out, and I was starting to feel like my life had finally been turned around.

But then, they took a turn for the worst.

PJ and I stayed home while his parents went to the grocery store with his siblings. They were gone for a long time, and we got worried, so we dialed the police, whom of which informed us that his family had died in a car crash.

So there in the blackness we sat, sobbing, until life had to go on.

PJ and I weren't old enough to live on our own, and his last remaining relative was his grandmother in America.

So sadly we packed our bags, reassuring each other and ourselves that it'd all be alright in the end.

Chris Kendall, Peej's best friend, insisted on coming with him, and his parents lovingly enrolled him as a transfer student and rented him an adjacent house next to ours. Yep- we were neighbors.

We even built a bridge between our two windows so we wouldn't die jumping ledge to ledge.

Things soon went back to normal for the other two, but not me.

I made a promise to myself that twisted day of fate when they died- I wasn't going to let myself believe in love everlasting, because nothing ever lasted in my life. And I wanted it to hurt less when something or someone left.

* * *

><p>So, that was how I came to be a student at Patterson High School. I made a few friends and aquantinces, and a whole lot of enemies.<p>

I met Ian Hecox, who sat next to me in a few classes, and had ADHD, and actually got pretty attached to him in spite of my rule, but awaited the day he'd waltz right out of my life like everyone else.

Then, two boys named Shane Yaw(Or Dawson, as he insisted) and Joey Graceffa who were popularity in-betweeners. I helped them out with their homework, and they kept the jerks off my back as best they could. Not that it stopped them, but I appreciated the gesture.

And who could forget people like Anthony Padilla, who picked on me everyday(But who Ian still fawned over like a fucking schoolgirl)?

Welcome to Patterson, aka Hell.

Get ready for the story of a lifetime...__

* * *

><p>HIGH SCHOOL AU! Whatcha think? I have YouTuber issues, this features a lot of my favorites. Phan and LOTS of side shippys. LEEDULLEEDULLEEDULLEE!<p>

Love you, Love you! Please review if you want to see what happens next! ;)


	2. The Day I Met Perfection

I wandered aimlessly into the school building, Chris and Peej drifting off to their lockers and me dreading going to mine for fear of the sort of people who hung out near it, and also not particularily close to forgetting the time Padilla had filled my locker with pudding on a bet.

Luckily, I was called from this so hated course of action by Ian waving me over.

"Dan, I'm having a crisis!" He shouted unnesscessarily loud, drawing annoyed looks from the surrounding students and teachers. Most friends would be panicking, but I kept my cool- Ian had once reacted this way about a burned Pop-Tart for breakfast.

"What happened? Did you forget to tie your shoes?" I said sarcastically. He rolled his eyes, or started to, but stopped halfway.

"Wellllll..." He drew out the 'L', a clear sign that the problem was most likely related to a social event, of which I would be uninterested.

"Spit it out," I groaned, leaning against the wall and slapping one hand over my face in mock woe. "I may die of the bowl-haired suspense!"

"SHUT UP!" He whisper-shouted at me. I snickered- Oh, how I loved to make fun of his ridiculous haircut. And Oh, how he hated it.

"You know how they're having that stupid 'Spring Fling'?" I nodded my head. Neither of us had ever actually gone, but PJ had with a girl from his Art class and discovered that they were complete shag-festivals.

"Well, see..." He glanced to where Anthony Padilla was shoving a shorter boy named Troye against the wall and shouting in his face. Despite the situation, Ian's still got that stupid dreamy look on his face. Wait a minute...

My mind puts two and two together, and I actually gasp, I'm so shocked at him.

"NO!" I said.

"But _Dan!" _Ian whined. I glared at him.

"Ask Tyler to help you, I hate that piece of shit!"

"He's not a piece of shit, everybody makes bad decisions every once in a while."

"But every day, Ian?! C'mon!"

"We all make mistakes..."

"_He's _a mistake,"

"DAN!" I glance from Ian's pleading expression to Sir Douchebag III and sigh.

"I hate you sometimes." Ian grins and starts to close his locker, obviously believing our conversation to be over, but I reach out a hand and stop him.

"Just to be clear, I still say he's a self-conceited, skirt-chasing sack of idiot and I refuse to touch him with a ten foot pole," I clarified, then slammed his locker door shut and walk off. I wave to Chris and his Drama friends as I pass them in the hallway, practicing for some sort of play, the interesting kind I'd have tried out for if I was on the social totem pole.

I walk along by myself, hugging my things to my chest, and secretly people-watch from behind my backpack.

Shane and Joey, thy sexually active geeks, are attempting to eat each others faces in a corner. A girl with long dark hair walks by and wrinkles her nose pointedly, muttering _fags _under her breath. Shane pulls ever so slightly away from Joey and throws her the middle finger. She huffs and marches away, and I suppress a giggle.

I turn my attention to the loud sound of laughter on the opposite side of the hall.

There are three of the nicest popular people to ever exist in the universe, Felix Ulf Arvid Kjellberg, Marzia Bisognin, and Toby Turner. There are two kinds of popular, Anthony and his cronies popular, and Felix, Marzia, and Toby popular. See the difference? They and their friends are my favorite people to watch, because they're always so contagiously happy. And despite being different, they're cool. They are the kind of people you love five seconds after meeting them.

I smile a microscopic smile before turning the corridor where my locker is. There are advantages to being near friendless, you tend to notice things that other people don't. I keep my goofy grin about halfway down the hall, but then it fades. I now have to brave the task of putting in my combonation and pulling the handle.

20... 12... 43.

_Click._

I very carefully ease open my locker and hold my breath for a moment before breathing a sigh of relief- nothing today. Anthony must not have felt compelled to ruin my already crappy life further.

I stuff my things into my locker and spin on my heel to go to class, but suddenly find myself face-to-face with my friendquantice Louise.

"Dan, guess what?" She said enthusiastically in her accent. She'd been sent here on some sort of honors program, and was decidedly overexcited about my own similar origin.

"What, I guess," I muttered. She snorted a repressed chuckle and said,

"There's a new student today. He's from the North," She added, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

I internally facepalmed- why did she know these things?!

"Anywho, just wanted to let you know! Bye!" And off she went into a nearby classroom as the bell tolled. I jumped- Dear God, I was late for class now! Fan fuckin' tastic. Like I wasn't awkward enough...

* * *

><p>I ran into class as Ms. Hunter was taking roll.<p>

"Take your seat, ," She muttered, giving me a death glare that simply screamed that she hated her job more than anything else in the universe.

"Smooooooth," Said Anthony obnoxiously, causing a ripple of laughter amongst his stupid followers. I felt my face glow bright crimson and averted my eyes.

"Class, we have a new classmate today," Announced Ms. Hunter.

"Please make him feel welcome. Mr. Lester," Called the elderly woman. I risked peeking up from where I was frantically scrawling notes across the page to look at him, and when I did, I took a sudden, sharp intake of breath.

He had to be the most gorgeous, perfect creature to have ever existed, shimmering blue eyes and hair that flopped adorablely over his face. Instantly, everyone with an empty seat was motioning him into it, and I didn't even attempt to make eye contact. He was cool, he'd never have any good reason to talk to me.

And then there was a squeaking sound just beside me,and when my eyes snapped around, there he was, close enough to me to touch.

"Hi, I'm Phil," He whispered, politely sticking out his hand for me to shake, which I did, awkwardly so, as my palms were suddenly very sweaty for some odd reason.

"Is name my Dan," I blurted, unintentionally switching my words around. He laughed quietly, and it was a beautiful, heart-melting sound...

"Okay, Is name my Phil," He replied, then returned to his work, though I stared for just a few moments longer before I tore my gaze away.

This was going to be an interesting year...

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chappy two, just for you!<strong>_

_**A stupid rhyme for thou readers! Here is a sample of what to type in the review box-**_

_**A)This sucks**_

_**B)This is good**_

_**C) WTH are you telling me what to do?**_

_**Are you enjoying this? Please?**_

_**If you even only somewhat enjoy this, please review, and if you feel so inclined, show it to somebody.**_

_**Love you, Love you! Please review!**_


	3. Heartmelts and Microwaves

**_Alright, so on request by mysterious-bi, I am including a very cute lesbian couple she introduced me to called Rose and Rosie. I am unbelievablely going crazy thinking how cute they are in their videos- thank you, mysterious-bi, for this piece of fem-slashtastical art._**

**_I did my research but only watched a few videos, no judgey._**

* * *

><p>For the next few days, I did my best to avoid Phil at all costs. It seemed as though he were Apparating to the spots in which I could not escape, however, and he was in a few of my classes, so this was a rather difficult feat.<p>

I was often late to my classes now, except 's, as she would love to give me detention until I was thirty for tardiness.

In truth, I had no real quarrel with Phillip, except that strangely enough he made me get all tongue-tied and sweaty.

I called it social anxiety.

Ian called it wanting his dick, in those exact words, at which point I thumped him in the head and, despite the fact that we were in the library, he shrieked-

"THIS IS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, DANIEL! THAT'S WHAT IT IS!" Ah, my dramatic friend. Who's now got a month-long ban from the library.

And as I sat on a bench after school with said library-banned friend, I stared endlessly around me, effortlessly memorizing the faces of those around me, learning something new about someone every time I turned my head.

Sitting on another seat not too far away were Rose and Rosie, legs touching in a comfortable couply way and fingers intertwined. I smiled. My friend Tyler once said that they were indescribablely cute and most definitely his current OTP, at which point Ian laughed and reminded him that his One True Pair should really be he and his boyfriend, Troye.

Then Tyler said he shipped Ian and Anthony jokingly, as he hated him almost as much as I did, and Ian sank into fantasy land.

I told him at that point that OTP now officially stood for Only Tears and Pain because it would never happen, and we sat there laughing like crazy people even though it wasn't at all that hilarious.

I turned my attention to two oddballs, Dave and Josh(Or as they insisted, Lasercorn and Joven), who were laughing and shoving each other. Then, quite suddenly, Lasercorn leapt up onto a stump and then onto his friends back, where he eccentrically pointed ahead and, in his most posh voice, screeched,

"MUSH!"

Joven stood completely motionless, playfully rolling his eyes at his best friend's antics. I snickered at this comedic anticlimax as Lasercorn dejectedly slid off his back, crossing his arms over his chest and childishly sticking out his tongue at Joven, who grinned and ruffled his friend's spiky hair. It was my turn to roll my eyes as the shorter of the two blushed bright red, and his partner smiled triumphantly. They were practically a couple and didn't even realize it.

Once more I turned my head, toward PJ and Chris helping each other practice their lines for _Imagine That, _a play Peej had written and which the director of the Drama program found so entertaining he used it as that year's production, after some extremely minor tweaks so that they could use every classmate for something or another. I strained my ears and could carefully eavesdrop.

"Oh, oh... No, I- er, no thanks. Sneezerf you later," Said Chris from memory, and PJ burst into a fit of laughter.

"I meant _see! See _you later!" Chris said loudly, blushing.

"Okay, Chris, I sneezerf what you mean!" Peej deadpanned, breathless from laughter.

"Shuddap..." Murmured Chris, his face still an unfortunate shade of red.

"Oh, c'mon," Replied PJ, straightening out his facial expression and slinging an arm over Chris' shoulders, the warmth instantly bringing a reluctant smile to his face.

Peej looked about, apparently decided no one could see them from where they stood in a sheltered, yet well-lit, cluster of trees, and leaned in to plant an affectionate kiss on his secret lover's head.

"You know I love you," He whispered.

'''I love you too," Said Chris, leaning his head contentedly onto his boyfriend's chest. "But you're still an idiot," He added quietly.

PJ smiled and nuzzled Chris' hair.

"It's okay, as long as I get to be the idiot you're dating." Chris nodded and leaned up to peck him on the lips.

I finally tore my gaze from the happy couple, hidden away from the world. Everyone, it seemed, had that one somebody they cared more about than anyone else. Someone who loved them more than life itself, and the other feeling the same way.

Everybody had true love, the kind that lasted forever.

With me as a sad, lonely exception. With this depressing thought, I pulled my mind out of the gutter and into reality. From the lack of weight on the bench, I knew Ian had gone and left without me even noticing. I decided that I'd wait to go home for a while, simply enjoy the nice breeze that was ruffling my hair like soft fingertips, cool and comforting.

I allowed a teeny grin to worm its way onto my lips- even though I'd probably never have what Rose and Rosie had, or the sort of chemistry Dave and Joven had, or the lovey-dovey stolen smooches and snuggles my two best friends shared, but I had survived this long, and I'd always have good old relaxation(Or procrastination, PJ insisted.)

"Penny for your thoughts," A familiar voice brushed sweetly against my earlobe, snapping me out of my nature-induced trance- this was why I didn't go outside. I'd look like the most sweaty, uncomfortable, stupid, awkward ball of idiocy to ever live in front of ever so likeable Phil.

"Uh..." I said blankly. Wow, Dan- 'Uh'? You're such a _great _conversationalist- not.

"What're you thinking about?" He asked again, sitting down in the seat beside me and getting comfortable.

"N-nothing," I stuttered, flying into an internal panic. If I were to say that I was randomly staring at people having intimately adorable relations with each other, he'd think I was some sort of stalker! If I said I was thinking about the lack of love life I had, he'd think I was a loser! If...

My brain turned to mush as he reached over and squeezed my hand.

"Never mind, it's fine. I just..." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair with an embarassed smile.

"What?" I asked- Or rather, my mouth asked. I was unsure whether I had given it permission to open in case something stupid came out of .

"This is going to sound ridiculous," Phil told me in his angelic voice, " But I just wanted to talk to you."

I stared- what? I racked my brains- had we been set as lab partners? Or did he just need to borrow money?- But could think of no good reason for his sudden urge to speak to the school freak.

"You seem really sweet," He clarified. "And I want to be your friend so badly, but you're so shy that we've hardly said two words to each other since I got here."

Whoa, back up the truck- say _what _now?!

"So, let's start over," He smiled beautiously. "Hi, I'm Phillip Micheal Lester, and who might you be, fine gentleman?"

"I'm D-Dan Howell..." I muttered breathlessly.

"Well, nice to meet you, Dan!" He exclaimed happily.

"Are you talking to me on a bet or something?" I blurted worriedly. The grin instantly dropped from his face- uh-oh, I just ruined everything!He shook his head.

"Has someone done that?" I nodded sheepishly- four people, to be precise, one of them a girl who'd jokingly asked if I'd go with her on a date and then slapped me across the face when I'd politely declined, for obvious reasons having to do with my realatively different sexuality.

"Oh, that's _awful!" _Squealed Phil indignantly. "I swear I'd never, ever do something mean like that! Especially not to someone like you!"

He noticed my bemused expression and awkwardly cleared his throat, his cheeks suddenly bright crimson.

"What's your favorite ontomatopoeia?" He wondered, simply to change the subject away from my social life.

_"Mi-cro-wave,_" I responded happily. He stared, then bust out laughing.

"Th-that's not a- haha!- on- ha!- ontomatopoeia!" He giggled.

"Yeah, it is!" I replied defiantly. "Listen- _Mi-cro-wave, _that's the sound it makes!"

"If your microwave talks, you should call a mechanic,"

"HEY!" I playfully shoved him, and then came to the realization that I was having an actual conversation with this incredible person that you couldn't not fall in love with.

He smiled, stood, and said in an incredibly accurate impression of Anthony Padilla,

"Well, I gotta go beat up a defenseless kid now," He mocked the jerk, making me giggle lightly. "But I'll talk to you tomorrow, Microwave," He said in his regular voice as he walked off, waving. I raised my left hand and waved back at him, smiling like an idiot.

Then, suddenly, Ian popped around the nearest corner and waltzed over to me with a smirk on his lips.

"Dan has a Northerner fetish! Dan and Phi-il, sittin' in a tree!" He sang.

I felt blood rush to my face.

"I hate you," I muttered.

"But you don't deny it!" He shouted, gleefully dancing on the spot.

I glanced up to meet his eyes, and suddenly we both looked like we were having vertical strokes as we doubled over laughing at his stupid logic.

I decided that Phil was actually rather nice, despite his being about a thousand rungs higher than me on the social ladder.

This year was going to be positively epic. That was what cool guys said, right?

* * *

><p><em><strong>Actually, wow, people. I need a hobby besides writing, don't you think? I think that I'll continue if you guys like it as much as I like writing it.<strong>_

_**Thanks!**_

_**Oh, shoutout to meh interwebernetz bestie, AustinAllyAuslly, who's always so sweet and supportive no matter how many times my tablet breaks and we have no communication methods. Love you lots! XD**_

**_If you don't review, I'll do nothing, because I don't have a freaking clue who you are, but if you do you will recieve free virtual socks made of invisbible awesome-ness!_**

**_Love you, Love you! Please review! _**

**_P.S. I liek pie._**


	4. Break His Heart, I'll Break Your Nose

It was exactly one week to the Spring Fling, and Ian wouldn't stop giving me puppy-dog eyes.

I'd promised to ask Padilla out for him, but as I had trouble approaching regular people and Anthony was decidedly irregular in a very bad way, that had not yet happened.

He seemed to think that going with a group of friends was something that only immensely lonely people did. He told Chris and PJ that they should go with a date instead of each other, unknowing that they were going with a date already.

Meanwhile, I was going because Tyler said, and I quote,

"I will come and _drag _you to the damn thing if you don't go willingly!"

And so, that was how I came to be standing in front of a heavily graffitied locker belonging to Anthony with an envelope containing one love note begging the reader with a kind of childlike ecstacy to go to the dance with them. I glanced around me, making sure no one was in the hall with me, then stuffed the letter aggressively through one of the holes used for ventilation in his locker and ran back to Mr. Harper 's class.

* * *

><p>I loved this class dearly, as in the seat next to me was Marzia and two rows directly in front of me was Phil.<p>

It was here that I felt I could be a normal person, or at least somewhat normal- I was still staring dreamily at the back of Phil's head.

Plus, this was one of my favorite subjects, and never did Mr. Harper's English Literature class last long enough for me. If I could, I would spend the whole day in his room, writing my emotions and dreams on a college-ruled scrap of notebook paper for a grade.

Every day, he let us either do the assignment at hand or write a journal entry, full-length, depending on whether or not the class assignment was mandatory.

You must understand by now that this is my favorite time of a weekday for a reason.

Suddenly, though, as my eyes once more drifted from my finished entry to Phil, Marzia tapped me on the shoulder and I forced myself to turn my attention to her admittedly gorgeous face.

"D'you like him?" She asked, indicating Phil with her hand. I blushed furiously.

"Er..."

"I think you and him would make a very cute couple," She said with a grin. Marzia was always very straight-forward with her thoughts, it was one of the things that made her such a likeable member of society.

"Are you going to ask him to be your date to the dance?" She wondered aloud. I shook my head- No, no way. I had only just become friends with the guy, I wasn't about to ruin it over some stupid crush.

"That's too bad- you two could come with Felix and I. I hope he asks you to go with him, then," She finished, turning back to her diary and signing her name at the bottom with a flourish.

I liked optimistic people like Marzia.

She would have an incredible time at the party, and I would be sitting in the upper corner of the gym bleachers, holding my nose in a attempt to ward off the stench of alchohol, sex, and sweat, reading a book or comic and trying to ignore the dancing, laughing people around me.

And yet she still thought that it would be nice for me to have fun at said social activity.

The bell rung, and Marzia rose with a smile to turn in her diary, a few others following suit.

* * *

><p>"<em>DANNNN!<em>" Ian came shooting toward me like a rocket from his math class.

"Ian," I sighed, waiting, as Ian was bound to do something melodramatic if he thought I hadn't given Anthony the note he'd written.

"_Look!" _He squealed, shoving a letter in my face.

I slowly opened it, shooting him an odd look over the top of the slightly wrinkled piece of paper.

_Alright, Hecox. I'll go. _It read in messy handwriting. Beneath it were the initials AP.

Oh, dear God- what had I done?!

"Thank you so much, Dan! You're the best!" He shouted, snatching the letter out of my hand and dashing off to Geography before I had recovered from the shock.

When I had finally recovered from what seemed to be some sort of temporary paralysis, I immediately searched the hall for the face of someone with ridiculous hair and no apparent moral values.

And there he was, talking with two goonies, Matt(Sohinki, he insisted, as he went by his last name) and Mari.

Without even thinking about it, I stormed over and slapped him as hard as I could, forgetting everything I had a reputation for at Patterson.

"Listen up, Padildo, " I snarled, fueling my rage with thoughts of how many times this same thing had been done to me by him. "If you break his heart, I'll break your nose," I growled, and walked away, leaving Mari and Sohinki trying hard to contain their giggles and Anthony cupping the side of his face with one hand.

"Nice," I heard from the doorway of the nearby Boys' restroom as I passed it. My heart dropped to my stomach- oh, no. Phil. He'd probably seen it all and now thought I was a total jerk.

He stepped out of the doorframe and stood in front of me, though I acted as though I had suddenly become very interested in his sneakers so I wouldn't have to meet his eyes.

But he didn't yell at me or anything. Actually, he started _laughing!_

"I've been waiting for someone to do that since I got here!"He howled. "Who would have thought, sweet little Dan bitch slapped someone!"

I started snickering, too, realizing the irony of it all.

"Well, you know, I'm a civil rights activist- I'll hate you all as equals!"

He laughed.

"But you don't hate me,"

"No, no I don't, Phil. I actually quite like you." My heart stopped. That just came out of my mouth. WOW.

"I like you too, Dan," He responded, and, with a quick squeeze to my shoulder, he walked away.

Except I didn't just like Phil- I loved Phil.

What a rule breaker he was, that I involuntarily had fallen for Phil Lester, and now that I loved him, I couldn't stop.

Suddenly, PJ and Chris were at my side.

"Aww, our wittle Danny-bear's all gwone up!" Said Chris in a babyish voice.

"Shut up!" I replied laughably.

"You remember to bring a condom to the Spring Fling, he could have an STD," Peej told me with a tone of mock seriousness. I flushed scarlet.

Was I that obvious with my stupid crush?

And also, ew, PJ. NO.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Next Chappy mayhaps may be the dance!<em>**

**_And Peej, Phil has no STDs!_**

**_If he did, that would be very odd._**

**_VERRRRRRRRY ODD._**

**_Reviews may include, but are not limited to,_**

**_A) What is this piece of crap that I'm reading?_**

**_B) I somewhat approve of this piece of crap I am reading._**

**_C)I'm just here because I was looking for the bathroom and got lost._**

**_D)I am offended for some reason!_**

**_E )*High School Musical reference*_**

**_Love you, Love you! Please review!_**


	5. Spring Fling Flashback

It was the day of the Spring Fling, and around nine o'clock Chris and Peej were ready to go and I'd already recieved a text from Ian saying that Anthony had picked him up.

And while they all seemed pretty psyched about this whole thing, I was going simply because A) I had no choice, and B) To spy on Ian's date.

And so it was with this goal in mind that I pulled on my hoodie and climbed into the car PJ's grandmother had bought him for his birthday, and we drove off to the school building.

* * *

><p>The night began how I'd planned it- I stepped into the Gym(Still didn't like Gyms) and went directly to the spot where Ian was sitting, laughing with Anthony.<p>

I snuck up behind them and sat down two rows back, hiding my face behind a book that I was only pretending to read. If people thought you were reading then they probably didn't suspect you of eavesdropping.

"...And then, she tries to punch him in the face, but he ducks and she hits her best friend instead!" Ian was saying, telling about a scene from _Imagine_ _That_. Anthony laughs, and they fall into a comfortable silence for a few moments before Anthony breaks it.

"Hey, d'you want a drink?" Ian nodded, and Anthony walked away through the throng of partiers. As soon as he was out of sight, Ian turned around to face me.

"Alright, Howell, I know it's you, and I know you're watching us,"He said exasperatedly. I laughed and lowered my copy of _ The Fault In Our Stars._

"Okay, you caught me," I snickered.

"Quick, how do you think it's going?" He asked worriedly.

"Ian, I'm going to tell you the truth here- Anthony is a lying, bullying, worthless sack of monkey shit, but I think he might actually be attempting to be nice to you,"

"Really?" I nodded.

"Aw, you think he likes me? I- quick, go away, I'll see you tomorrow!" He squealed, spotting Anthony squirming back through the mass of dancing bodies. I rolled my eyes and speed-walked away with a wink.

I knew that Ian didn't want me spying, and so I wouldn't, but that was how I'd been planning to spend my whole night and it was over in a matter of minutes. I had no clue what I was going to do for the rest oif the night, and I couldn't leave because Tyler would kill me, so I did what I always did when I had nothing else to do.

I watched.

To my left were Tyler and Troye, dancing like a pair of madmen and laughing so loud that it must have been hurting their chests; to my right were Shane and Joey, with Shane having the obvious filthy objective of getting in his boyfriend's pants.

Felix and Marzia were cutely cuddled in the corner, away from the music and dancing, far from the alchohol and the occasional blunt, just tucked away in their own little corner of the world. It made me smile briefly in spite of the awkward situation I was in, sitting silently in the corner at a school dance, watching the people around me.

A few feet from where I stood were Toby and his friends Mark and Ken, debating noisily whether someone could actually make a diamnod sword like in Minecraft in real life.

"No one else can make a sword exactly in this manner," Toby sang, and Mark snorted whilst he tried to hold in his laughter- this was obviously some sort of inside joke.

I sighed; this certainly wasn't as fun as everybody had assured me it would be, but I could be content for hours people-watching.

"You don't like parties much, either, then?" Phil's sweet voice carressed my ears, and I jumped- how did he do that?!

"No, and where did you come from?" I replied.

"Well," He said with a glimmer of humor in his eyes, "I moved here from Northern Ireland, but originally I came from a vagina,"

I blushed, and he threw his head back and roared with laughter at my reaction to the word.

"Are you here with a date?" He wondered. I shook my head.

"I came alone," I told him.

"Oh... Hey, Dan, check out your little friend!" He exclaimed suddenly, pointing across the Gym at Ian. Upon closer inspection, I realized that he was attached at the lips to Anthony Padilla. I facepalmed.

"You know, I'm a horrible friend," I deadpanned. "I know I should be happy for him, but all I can think about is the fact that his date is the world's biggest dick."

Phil laughed.

"Well, you helped your friend and got major brownie points. That's something to celebrate, WOOOOOOO!"

I should have known when he raised his hand like that it was for a high-five, but the sight of his hand in that position sent me flying back to that moment when everything went wrong, the second where my whole life started to go south.

I flinched away. I could barely here his worried voice, everything sounded muffled, underwater, just like it had that day.

"P-please, no.." I begged, throwing my arms over my head in an attempt to protect myself.

"Dan!" Phil cried, terrified. He had no clue what was going on, and he reached out to try and pull my arms down. I yelped, spun on my heel, and shot out of the door. I was honestly surprised I could find it, I could barely see through my tears.

* * *

><p>Outside, I sat down on the lawn and tried to take deep, calming breaths, though they were shaky and it was hard to breathe, somehow.<p>

What had I done? Phil probably thought I was a total freak now.

Why didn't anything in my life ever go right?

I jumped about five feet in the air when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Hi," Phil whispered, gently holding me in place while I tried to squirm away.

"Sorry, I can't let you run away- there's traffic out here. Are you okay, Dan?" I shook my head. No, no I wasn't.

"What happened?'' Phil asked. I stayed silent.

"Did somebody hit you?" He asked quietly.

I nodded.

"Who?''

I suddenly seemed to regain a small bit of control over my voice.

"D-Dad... When I was... younger.." He sighed and ever so carefully took my shaking hands into his strong ones.

"Oh, Dan..." I still wasn't looking at him.

"How could anybody hurt you?" He whispered, giving my hands a light squeeze.

"Dan, I wouldn't ever let anything hurt you. This is going to sound stupid, 'cause we've only known each other for a few weeks, but you're the best thing that's ever happened to me." He reached around and pulled me into a light hug.

"I love you," He breathed. I closed my eyes and curled closer to his chest, feeling safer with Phil than I ever I thought I could.

"I love you, too..."

* * *

><p><strong><em>AWWWWWWWWWWWW!<em>**

**_That had Phan cuteness!_**

**_I'm sorry if your grandmother was bitten by a flock of moosen!_**

**_Love You, Love You! Please Review!_**

**_My apologies if you've developed a strange addiction to this story even though you really don't like it!_**

**_P.S._**

**_I need help writing a smut scene. Please PM me if you're interested or know someone who would be._**


	6. The Pros and The Con

I had no clue what to expect from the day after the incident with the dance, but there were pros and cons. I think I'll start with the cons to get them over with-

The very first thing that happened when I walked into Patterson High was that Ian ran up to me bawling his eyes out.

"D-Dan!" He sobbed, and sank into the fetal postion against some nearby lockers. I quickly followed and sat down next to him, alarmed and abandoning my own problems for a minute. Sure, Ian was dramatic as fuck, but he never cried unless it was serious.

"What's wrong?" I asked, squeezing his shoulder comfortingly.

"Y-you were right!" He cried.

"About what?" I said wonderingly- after the Phil problem had been resolved, everything else just sort of faded into the background, white noise.

"Ab-bout Anthony! He b-br-brought me to the dance, an-and then... then.." He burst into another fit of tears and buried his face in his hands.

"God, why didn't I listen to you?! I'm so stupid!" He blubbered.

"Ian, shhh, it's okay. I need you to calm down a little, alright?" He wiped his nose on his sleeve and nodded.

"What'd he do to you?" I asked as gently as I possibly could. I didn't know what that damn idiot was capable of.

"H-he... I..." Ian paused to sniffle pitifully. "He was b-being so sweet, Dan! He kept saying 'I love you" and b-b-bringing me drinks, and k-kiss-sing me... And th-then he left, and he didn't come b-back for a while, so I w-went looking for him, and he.. he was with Kalel!" I sat in stunned silence for a moment.

"Hold on," I said confusedly. "Kalel, as in his ex-girlfriend Kalel?!" Ian nodded, tears running silently down his face no matter how hard he tried to calm them.

I clenched my fists angrily. I knew Padilla was a low-life little rat, but I never thought he'd stoop so low as to play with Ian's feelings like that, with the way Ian treated him like some sort of god.

"D-don't try a-anything, Dan," He muttered, angrily swiping at the tears dutifully traipsing down his cheeks. "I don't w-want you to get h-hurt,"

I put a friendly arm about his shoulders.

"Hey, cheer up," I said, attempting to comfort him. "He's not worth it, Ian. There are plenty of good guys out there, he doesn't deserve you," Ian looked up and gave me this look of such despair that I felt my heart shatter inside my chest.

"But that's the problem," He whispered. "I don't want the other guys, Dan, I only want him."

I sighed- no one could understand the way Ian was feeling, it was all I could do to sit with him helping him dry his puffy red eyes until we had to go to class.

As he stood to go to his first period and I to Ms. Hunter's class, he turned and gave me a quick hug.

"Thanks for being my friend, Dan," He murmured, then turned and walked with his head down to class, trying to hide his tearstained face from curious eyes.

I hoped that this would be like every other disaster, and in a few days he'd be over it and back to the Ian I knew.

Now, I said that there were cons, but I also said there were pros. And when I turned around to go to Ms. Hunter's Math class, there was a definitely good thing standing there, looking like a prince straight out of a fairy tale.

"Hi, Danosaur," He said with a breathtaking grin. "Lookie what I've got!"

He thrust a schedule with his name on it into my hand. I skimmed it, the re-read it, not sure I wasn't seeing things.

"Phil, why d'you-" I started, but he cut me off by pressing a soft, unexpected kiss to my forehead.

"Why do I have all the same classes as you?" He finished. I nodded, as he seemed to have stolen my voice once again. It was amazing how he could do that; how one moment, my brain would be functioning at normal capacity, and then with just one touch from Phil everything melted away.

"Remember how I said I'd never let anything hurt you?" He asked. Another nod, of course I remembered! It was rather hard to forget a moment like that, especially when it had only happened the night before.

"Well," He went on, "Now I can protect you all day long, easily!" He smiled triumphantly and pressed a quick kiss to my left cheek before wrapping an arm around my waist and beginning to lead me to class, but I stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"Phil," I said, blushing when I thought about what I was about to say.

"Yes, Dan?" He asked, twisting to face me.

"Er..." I cleared my throat. All of the blood in my body must have rushed to my cheeks, they felt so warm. "What are we, Philly? Like... relationship-wise?" The smile on his face grew at the sight of my flustered expression. He lifted my left hand and gently kissed it, pulling me ever so gently to his chest. Somewhere in the back of my head I registered the fact that the bell had rung a while ago and that we'd been all alone in the hallway for the entireity of this exchange.

"Well..." He growled, nipping lovingly at the tip of my earlobe, "I meant it when I said all of those things last night, bear, and I was hoping we could be more than friends," He leaned his face in a few centimeters more and rubbed his nose against mine. I giggled and nodded,ecstatic. I could sing, I was so happy!

"Then, it's settled!" He proclaimed. "You're my boyfriend, you're all mine and nobody else can have you!"

I laughed and pecked his lips.

"Mhm," I replied. He smiled.

"Well then, would you like to come on a date with me, you little cutie?" I went scarlet, grinned a teensy grin, and gave a slight bob of my head to mean yes.

"Huzzah!" He shouted cutely. God, he was adorable. "I'll come and get you tomorrow night, wear something casual with sandals!" I gave him a confused look, as that wasn't much of an explanation as to where we were going, but I didn't ask- I'd like for him to surprise me.

So, all in all, today was a pretty great day-

The pros far outweigh the cons in this situation.

* * *

><p><em><strong>POOR<strong> **IAN**_! ***_snuggles_***

_**YAY**_ **_DANNY_**! *_**snuggles** **him** **with** **Phil**_*

_**I** **have** **issues**_.

_**Reviews** **may** **also** **include**_:

_**A**_) _**SHAMWOW**_!

_**B**_)_**OXI**_-**_CLEAN_**!

_**C)****Abraham**_ **_Lincoln_** _**was** **not a**_ _**lizard** **mutant** **person**_.

_**D)WTF are these reviews even?!**_

_**E**_)_**Pie** **tastes** **nummy**_.

**_F_) _I defecated while reading this on the toilet with my phone._**

**_G) I like this._**

**_H)This sucks, just like Dan does to Phil IRL. ;)_**

**_I) This is wrong on SO many levels.._**

**_J) TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MAAAAAAAAAANNYYYYYYYYYYY SAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!_**

**_*clears throat*_**

_**Wellllllll...**_

_**Love You, Love You! Please Review!**_


	7. Best Date In The History Of Ever

You have no idea how stressful it can be to choose a 'casual' outfit for a date with _Phil Fucking Lester. _

I had no clue that my closet was so full of shitty outfits, and I really didn't know what he would want me to wear.

I was a fashion fail.

And so, being the walking disaster that I was, I decided to call the queen- someone who would inevitablely know exactly what to do.

I phoned Tyler.

"Hi, it's Tyler Oakley here!" I heard his voice coming through the receiver on the third ring and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hey, Tyler, it's Dan... Can you-" I hadn't even finished my sentence when he cut me off and I heard an engine rumble in the background on his end.

"I'll be right over," He said, and there was a click on the other line indicating that he'd hung up and was most likely speeding to my house.

* * *

><p>Just as I'd predicted, Tyler chose my date outfit within three seconds of being there- dark blue skinny jeans and a black T-shirt- 'Wear what you feel comfortable in! Guys like confidence, Dan!'- and then proceeded to pull me excitedly across the room to sit with him and discuss every detail of the date.<p>

"Have you kissed? Like, on the lips?" I shook my head, and bit my lip.

"Is that a bad sign?" I asked.

"No, not nesscessarily- maybe he's just a gentleman, or waiting for you to make the first move, or something like that. What if he tries to kiss you?" My heart dropped into my stomach- what if he did?! I mean, sure, he'd been planting secretive little kisses on my cheeks and forehead since the dance, but... I'd never kissed anyone before! What if I froze up or did it wrong?!

"Dan, calm your tits!" Tyler exclaimed as I began to visibly tremble. "He obviously likes you!"

"It'd be my first kiss!" I blurted, upset. Tyler lit up like a Christmas tree.

"AW! How romantic!" I forced myself not to roll my eyes- Tyler was all for Disney happily-ever-after true love stuff.

"W-well... what do I _do?" _I asked, palms beginning to sweat profusely. I would panic for sure, I just knew it!

"My advice is to let him do what he wants and do what feels right to you," He told me. Easy for him to say!

"Unless, of course, he tries to take off your pants- then just kick him in the balls." Yeah, no.

* * *

><p>I paced in front of the door, anxiously awaiting Phil's arrival and worrying about everything that could go wrong, any little thing I could do to make him hate me.<p>

And what if he didn't show up at all? What if he never even liked me in the first place? I didn't think I could handle that...

My thoughts were cut off by a soft rapping on the door. I lunged for the door handle and opened it with shaky fingers to Phil, who's eyes lit up when he saw me. He looked... _incredible._ Even in jeans and a T-shirt. I couldn't even begin to comprehend the wonderful fact that he loved me.

"Hi there, beautiful!" He happily greeted me.

"H-hi..." I whispered. There were really no words to describe how he made me feel- the way he made my heart flip right over in my chest, how his smile made all my cares and trivial little problems melt away. He was indescribablely perfect, and as of yesterday he was all mine.

"Do I look okay? Sh-should I go change?" I stammered insecurely, already beginning to step toward my bedroom to change out of my current outfit.

His strong arms closed around my lower back and held me in place as he lovingly ruffled my hair.

"You look perfect," He responded, giving me butterflies.

Wow- He was so wonderful.

"Hey," Came Chris' voice from the sitting room, and he stepped into the foyer with PJ close on his heels.

"Hi," Said Phil politely, sticking out his hand for them to shake. "I'm Phil- You must be Dan's friends, um.. Chris and Peej, right?"

"I know who you are," Said PJ, rolling his eyes while Chris gave an amused chuckle.

"Yeah," He added. "Dan hasn't shut up about you all day long!" I flushed red- thanks oh so much, you little twats!

Phil laughed.

"You're to have him back by ten, no later, and with his virginity intact. Am I understood?" PJ said in an official tone. Phil bit his lip to hold in his laughter and nodded.

"Good! Now..." He opened the door further and waved us away. "Get out of here, you crazy kids,"

* * *

><p>Phil drove us in his car to the edges of a forest, and then got out.<p>

"Where are we?" I asked, having not seen a road sign since a while back.

"Don't worry; I'm just bringing you somewhere I like to go. You're the only person I could ever dream of showing this to, so I'm going to have to ask you to pinkie-promise not to tell anybody else," He stuck out his pinkie, and I giggled and wrapped my little finger aound his.

As I did so, he leaned forward and kissed me on the ear. Whoa, smooth. He had me wrapped around his finger. Literally and metaphorically.

"C'mon," He said lightly, and let me into the trees. Now, under any other circumstances this would be a very bad idea, but I trusted Phil even more than I trusted myself. I felt like I'd known him my whole life.

After I'd followed him for a while, hand in hand so we wouldn't get seperated and also because I just really wanted to hold his hand, he placed a hand over my eyes and led me, giggling, a few steps more, and a blast of sweet air hit me head-on.

"Ready?" He asked. I nodded, and he removed his hand. I gasped at the sight in front of me.

We were standing on cool sand, which I could feel because of the sandals I now suddenly understood, and in front of us was a gorgeous lake with a beautious waterfall, like something straight out of a storybook.

"Beautiful," Phil murmured in my ear.

"Yeah, it really is," I agreed quietly. Even the bugs seemed to be minding their own business, there were no mosquitoes bugging us, no bees buzzing annoyingly next to our ears.

"I wasn't talking about the lake," Phil whispered, pulling me flush against his chest and staring at my lips as if he wanted to kiss me more than anything else in the world. The best part about any of this had to be that when he told me he loved me he really meant it.

Without even thinking about it, I leaned up and covered his soft, warm lips with my own. He groaned softly, a sound that said quite plainly that he had been wanting to do that since we'd first met.

The kiss quickly escalated, by Phil's choice, and soon his tongue was exploring, tasting every bit of my mouth. I reached up and tangled my fingers in his dark hair. I was lightheaded from lack of oxygen, but I really didn't ever want this to end.

Finally, we were forced to break away for air, and I sighed, gently leaning my head on Phil's shoulder as we slowly sank down and sat snuggling on the sand. He smiled and brushed my fringe out of my eyes with his hand.

"Best first kiss ever," I declared happily, laying back next to my boyfriend (I loved thinking of him like that) and tangling our legs together. He leaned back too, and pulled me closer so that I was right up against his soft flannel T.

"No way you've never kissed anyone before, you're too good at it," He proclaimed, resting his chin on top of my head.

I nodded embarrassedly, and he smiled even more.

"Then I guess I just stole your first kiss, sorry- not sorry." I giggled, and yawned drowsily; glancing at my watch, I realized that it was eleven o'clock, but luckily it was Friday and so I had no reason to be worried. Peej and Chriswould probably never shut up about this, but I didn't care.

I felt Phil roll away suddenly, and I whimpered quietly- I didn't want him to go anywhere. But he was back in a few seconds, draping a warm blanket over me and sliding beneath it to cradle me in his arms once more.

And this was how I happily drifted off in Phil's strong arms, with no cares or worries, as nothing could possibly be wrong when Phil loved me like I loved him.

Best first date in the history of first dates, definitely.

* * *

><p><em><strong>OMG.<strong>_

_**I wrote a date scene with snuggles...**_

_**Sorry if it was stupid, I thought it was pretty cute, though.**_

**_Dan and Phil snuggles make my heart smile and cry happy tears._**

**_Love You, Love You! Please Review!_**


	8. Marking What's Mine

I was a swooning little mess at school the next day, and several times my teachers snapped at me for daydreaming in class. I honestly couldn't care less about getting in trouble for thinking about my boyfriend, though- My sweet, compassionate, loving, protective boyfriend who I loved more than anything else. Ian kept making little heart shapes with his hands and humming what sounded suspiciously like _Love Story _whenever he was around, but Phil didn't seem to mind.

He appeared to be over Anthony, but I avoided mentioning him at all costs.

"So, Dan," He said with a giggle. "D'you have something to tell me? You and Phil?"

I blushed.

"Yeah... Me and Philly..." I must have looked like a tomatoe when the pet name slipped out.

"Chris and PJ told me that you went on a date with him on Friday and didn't come back until Saturday," He told me in a suggestive tone. "Have you done anything with him?" He asked rather bluntly.

"No!" I went an even darker scarlet, if that's possible.

"Do you want to?"

"I'm not _even _going to answer that."

"So that's a definite yes." He laughed, and then his eyes drifted over my shoulder and he rolled his eyes in an amused way. I knew it was Phil even before he had lifted me off the ground and spun me around in the air, laughing.

"Hi, love," He murmured, turning me around to meet his lips.

We probably would have made out until lunch break if Ian hadn't repetitively snapped his fingers in front of our faces until we broke away, red-faced and breathless.

"Cock block," Phil muttered, leaning against the wall while I averted my eyes from a now doubled-over laughing Ian Hecox.

Then a voice that made me wish I could go full-on Hulk reached my ears- _Anthony. _He had the nerve to ruin our morning after he'd already ruined Ian's date?!

"Hey, Ian-" He started, but Ian was evidently even angrier than I felt, and he spun around and hit Anthony hard in the face.

"_Do not _talk to me," He snarled, eyes watering up with tears he refused to let fall.

"But, babe, can't we talk about it? At _least?"_ Anthony begged. Alright, now I wanted to slap him, too, and apparently Phil sensed my anger because he squeezed my arm reassuringly and gently pushed me behind him, clenching his fists at his sides. If I was mad, he was mad, if he was mad, then Anthony would probably need a new face after this.

"There's nothing to talk about, and I'm not your babe," Ian replied, and started to walk away. But Anthony closed his fingers around Ian's shoulder and yanked him forcefully back to his side with a yelp. Phil started to lunge forward, but then glanced back at me and apparently decided against it for fear of me getting hurt. I wouldn't have cared as long as Padilla got what was coming to him.

"Listen, please!" Anthony said. Ian glanced at his watch.

"You've got four minutes, talk fast," He said curtly. Anthony took a deep breath before he began.

"Kalel was just giving me advice! We're just friends, Ian, and I wanted to impress you because, you know, I don't always have the best reputation, and she was helping me out because I really like you and I'm so, so sorry I made you cry!" He stopped, panting, as he had apparently not been breathing during this short rant.

I had never seen him this flustered or genuinely apologetic. He seemed sincerely sorry about what he'd done, and Ian seemed to forgive him.

"You...I..." He said, then apparently decided that this was better said with lips than words and he leaned up and pushed his lips onto Padilla's, right there in the middle of the hallway! The couple earned a few strange looks, as Ian was a completely unknown social flaw and Anthony was Patterson's decidedly straight 'bad boy' player, but quite a bit more "aw's" because despite Anthony's many, many, _many _misgivings, they looked somehow... right.I sighed and leaned against Phil- they were, unfortunate as it was, made for each other, and I felt lucky that I was made for Phil rather than someone like him.

Soul mates- Love 'em or hate 'em, you're stuck with them, so you might as well make the best of it. And that was exactly what both Ian and I were doing.

Of course, if Anthony ever made him cry again I would personally surgically remove the micropenis he must possess in order to be suck a jerk and draft it onto his face, then get Ian a Grindr account.

* * *

><p>Phil and I's routine was now to go about our necessary business during the daylight hours, then meet at the lake for a date afterwards, as if if we didn't it wouldn't hold us over until the next day. If I wasn't in Phil's arms, the air around me felt arctic, cold and uninviting.<p>

In other words, I had become a happier, more expressive version of Bella Swan.

Oh, and with more character development.

Back on topic- today, Phil had packed a picnic, laid out by the water between two perfectly shady trees. I smiled at him as he waved me over- Dear God, he couldn't be more angelic if he tried. I half expected him to sprout wings and a halo and simply evaporate.

"Hi, Dan," He grinned and pulled me down next to him. "Guess what?"

"What?" I wondered, scooting over so I was sitting on his lap with my head on his shoulder.

"We don't have school tomorrow," He reminded me, ghosting his lips over my neck and sending shivers down my spine. "We have a day off because of those parent-teacher conferences, and that means..." He trailed off, waiting for me to finish his sentence.

"We can do whatever we want," I murmured.

"Exactly," Whispered Phil, and I felt his smile rather than saw it. Some may say that we were moving too quickly to already be this comfortable with each other, but I could finally relate to the people in every romance movie I'd ever seen- I was meant to be this way, with him holding me, and we could have known each other for years for how in sync we were with each others emotions.

Besides, fast is fun.

"Say 'Ah," Phil said suddenly, scootching over to the wicker picnic basket he'd brought and opening a package of something.

"Phil, I'm not going to give you a blowjob," I muttered jokingly. He raised his eyebrows.

"Not like that! I mean, of course, if you _want _to..." I felt my ears go ruby- my own wit used against me, you fiend! I bite my thumb at you! Or I would if that wasn't a stupid way of insulting someone. And you weren't so damn cute..

"C'mon, 'Ah'," Phil insisted, and I obediently opened my mouth, only to feel something chocolately and delicious being popped onto my waiting tongue. My eyes snapped wide open and I grinned hugely at Phil.

"Yay, Maltesers!" I cheered, hugging Phil. "My favorite!

"I know, you told me that- that's why I brought them!" He grinned triumphantly and played with my hair.

"Aw, you're the best!" And he really was, and not just for getting me my favorite candy, but just for being mine.

* * *

><p>Later on that night, after we had eaten all three packs of Maltesers and the sandwiches that Phil had brought, we laid contentedly beneath the stars once more, and I realized that we'd been together for over a month.I had no clue I could ever be this close to someone ever again, especially in such a short period of time.<p>

"I love you," He said for about the thousandth time, although I never got tired of hearing it.

"I love you too," I all but purred into the crook of his neck, where I was resting my head, currently nestled like a cat on his stomach.

"Hey, bear, can I try something?" He asked, running his hand up and down my back. I nodded, and then things began to heat up.

He suddenly sat up, flipped me over so I was lying on my back, and straddled my waist.

He smiled cockily as I looked hesitantly up at him with loving eyes- he knew that he had complete control in this situation, because I trusted him so, but he wouldn't do anything I wouldn't like.

Phil leaned down and began leaving soft kisses down my jawline and then worked his way slowly down my neck.

When he found a patch of skin he liked, he began to suck a love bite into the area, and I moaned quietly, as my neck was a very sensitive place on my body.

"Wh-what are you doing?" I asked him in a whisper as he finished and moved back ever so slightly to admire his work.

"Marking what's mine," He said huskily as he slid off of me, leaving me wishing desperately that he'd keep going but at the same time not knowing what to do if he did. And so I simply squirmed in close and contained my arousal with difficulty, curled up against his chest.

I would have trouble hiding the hickey tomorrow, and yet I was at the same time quite proud of the tag Phil had left on me.

For now, I was content to shut my heavy eyes and smile as I slept, knowing I was his, all his...

* * *

><p><em><strong>TA-DAAAAAAAA!<strong>_

_**I'm writing the next chapter with some help to write some smuttiness.**_

_**For now, this was all me, so sorry if this sucked!**_

_**Also...**_

_**Reviews:**_

_**A) Wanna see what happens when I drop my Shamwow in the toilet?**_

_**B) I wish Phil would give me a hickey(Don't we all?).**_

_**C) This story offends me because once a hot British guy gave me a hickey and I am OFFENDED!**_

_**D) This was officially the worst attempt at even pre-smut I've ever seen.**_

_**E) Dan and Phil, fucking in the sand...**_

_**F) Penis! Penis, Penis Penis! What's your favorite fruit and Phil's too?**_

**_G) What's your favorite Beyonce?_**

**_H) Fuckin' on the beach, Doo-Wee-DOO-Doo! (Sing to the tune of Spongebob's Walkin' On The Beach)_**

**_LET ME HEAR A BIG HELL YEAH FROM THE PERV PHANGIRLS LIKE ME! (HELL YEAH!)_**

**_A-hem._**

**_Love You, Love You! Review now and get a free fantasy where Phil gives you a hickey!_**


	9. Let's Talk About Sex!

Tomorrow found Phil at my house in a jacket similar to something you might find a spaceman wearing, flowers in his hand and dimples showing as he smiled.

His eyes drifted to the yellowish mark on my neck, and the grin changed to a smirk as I self-conciously tugged up my shirt collar. Explaining the hickey to Chris and Peej had been difficult, but I lied and told them it was a bruise, though they obviously didn't believe me a bit.

"Guess what your amazing boyfriend did?" He asked as he pecked my forehead and took my hand in his.

"What?" I responded, playing with his fingers.

"I set us up on a double date with that couple from school... uh, Felix and Marzia? We're going to this restraunt called _Samba's _where they have kareoke and stuff, and I think it'll be fun." I smiled, wrapped my arms around his neck, and pecked him cutely on the lips.

"Of course," I murmured, nuzzling into his shoulder with a little grin. Anything with Phil was fun.

He was like a drug or something, and I was happily addicted.

* * *

><p>At <em>Samba's<em>, we all sat at a four-seater with me across from Marzia and Phil across from Felix. Phil and I had our fingers intertwined and I was resting my head on his shoulder.

Suddenly, Phil reached around and started tickling my stomach, and I let out an unintentionally loud laugh completely innappropriate for a restraunt.

"Philip Micheal Lester!" I giggled, playfully slapping his hand away. He grinned and pulled me back to his side, where I rested my head on his chest and listened to his soft, rhythmic heart beat.

"Sorry, baby,'' He whispered, kissing my cheek. "I couldn't help myself- you have the cutest laugh..." I sighed and leaned up to plant a kiss on his lips. I heard Felix snort across the table and turned to see him putting an arm around Marzia with a little eye roll.

"You two are so cute it's sickening," Felix said jokingly. Phil grinned.

"You too," He replied humorously. It was at this moment that the waiter brought our food, cutting off the previous conversation and opening up an oppurtunity to start a new one about absolutely anything. Phil seized his chance-

"So, bear," He said, turning to me.

"What, Philly?'' I asked, and he smiled at the use of the stupid nickname.

"You know how there's a little road going along the forest where the lake is?" I nodded, hoping this was actually going somewhere.

"Well, there was a little cabin up the road from our secret hideaway, and I've been saving for weeks..." I gasped- no way!

"You _didn't!" _I squealed, hoping he had.

"I did- I already cleared it with Chris and PJ, and I think that if you're ready we could live together for the rest of the year- I mean, we're going off to uni next year anyway..." He trailed off and looked at me with an exression full of longing and worry, as if he actually thought I was going to say no.

"Yes!" I said, and he didn't even have time to look happy before I kissed him hard on the lips.

I was going to get to live with the love of my life, and this was the beginning of the rest of our lives together.

* * *

><p>I gasped when I saw our new home- I don't know what I'd been expecting, but it was better than anything I could have dreamed up. It was as if we'd stepped back centuries! The exterior was made of oak wood, and there were old-timey shingles on the roof. Covering the windows were these deep red curtains that reminded me of the sunset, in a way.<p>

And if the outside was a time machine, then the inside was a trip straight into a fairy tale.

The sitting room was done in autumnal colors, it was gorgeous, and in the middle was a stone hearth with a warm fire raging in it- the room just gave me the urge to cuddle somebody, i.e. Phil.

The guest room was created in such a way that it just screamed welcoming, and though the kitchen was more modern then the rest of the house, it still evoked the feeling of having suddenly been crowned royalty, and that must have been what happened, because only people like princes get to wake up every day with Phil Lester's arms around them.

And then, there was the bedroom.

In the middle was a queen sized bed, surrounded by curtains, and beside it was a pair of majestic wooden doors leading to the closet.

I felt Phil's arms around me and heard his voice brush gently against my ear, giving me shivers.

"This room's my favorite..." He whispered, nibbling on my ear. I nodded, speechlessly agreeing.

"Y'know," He growled, tugging at the bottom of my shirt, "This room could use a good christening..." I swear I stopped breathing, and all the happy drained out of me, replaced by fear and nervousness, as he pulled me onto the bed.

"W-wait.." I finally managed to gasp as he pulled the fabric over my head, exposing my torso.

''What? What's wrong, Danny?" He asked, immediately pausing in his ministrations.

"I-I've never done this before, Phil," I whispered, averting my eyes.

"D'you want to stop?''

"No, I just... Don't know if I can do this..." He gently tugged up my chin so I'd look him in the eyes.

"You can, and we'll stop if you don't think you can handle it. Okay?" I nodded and closed my eyes shut tight as he began to remove his own clothes. I whimpered when he started to undo the button on my jeans.

"Open your eyes, babe," He breathed, and I forced myself to wrench my eyes open and immediately any and all coherent thoughts evaporated as I began to admire his beautiful body. I reached out and ran my fingers over the waistband of his pants, eliciting a soft moan from his eager lips.

"Mm..." He groaned, and leaned down to kiss me softly on the lips. He reached out and pulled at my pants, tugging them off of my legs in one swift motion and guiding my hands back to the button on his jeans, which I gladly undid, exposing his boxers... And a very big bulge.

"You ready?" He whispered, and I nodded, holding my breath as he peeled off the last barrier between us and left us both completely naked. I whimpered needily and pressed my lips to his. He slid his tongue into my mouth, and we made out for a few minutes more before he pulled back and flipped me over so that I was lying on my back. I jumped as he slid a finger inside me, and he gave me a few minutes to get used to the strange sensation before he added another, and so on, until he had four fingers inside of me. Then he pulled them out and aligned himself with my entrance.

He slowly began to push inside of me, and I groaned. He pulled almost all the way back out, then added another inch or so and continued this until his full member was inside of me. Then he started to pound into me, slowly at first but quickly becoming fast and hard as I moaned feverishly into the bed.

"Ph-Phil..." I moaned, feeling my lower muscles begin to tighten.

"Dan," He whispered, and I could tell he was close too. Finally, slamming into me one more time, he came deep inside me, sending me over the edge.

After our hearts had calmed a bit, Phil slipped out of me and pulled me underneath the cool sheets to lay wrapped in his arms. He passionately kissed me, intertwining our fingers beneath the covers.

"Thank you, Dan." He murmured into my ear. "Thank you for giving yourself to me. I love you."

"I love you, too Philly," I said breathlessly, curling into his side. And I could tell we both meant it.

__Some rules are meant to be broken.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thank you SO FUCKING MUCH to NeverlandNat for all her help and advice on this chapter! I was literally unable to get past the very beginning of the scene where they actually have sex without her.<strong>_

_**Also, **_

_**A) Is Dan GAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY... Or European?**_

_**B)Dan wants Phil's dick.**_

_**C)This is awful**_

_**D) I once had sex in a gorgeuos cabin and I'm OFFENDED!**_

_**E) MORE HSM REFERENCES**_

_**F) They're moving too damn fast!(IK that!)**_

_**G)I think that this happens on a regular basis IRL.**_

_**H) This is LITRALEE the worst smut ever**_

_**I) WTF DID I JUST READ**_

_**J)HALP**_

_**K)This was good**_

_**Love you guys! Sorry for the delay, I was procrastinating and GODDAMMIT SMUT IS HARD.**_

_**Love You, Love You! Please Review!**_

_**P.S. I know this probably sucked, but I tried! :D**_


	10. Life Is A Cheesy Disney Princess Movie

I had never imagined just a few short hours ago that I'd be waking up in Phil and I's house. Much less waking up in Phil and I's house next to him and wearing absolutely nothing.

"Good morning," He whispered, lightly brushing my ridiculous hobbit hair out of my eyes. He insisted he loved the way it curled and waved, told me over and over that it made me look even cuter. He even once said that he felt incrediblely special because he was the only one who ever got to see it.

I didn't believe him; not a bit. He was like some kind of wake-up call from a horrible nightmare into a gorgeous dreamworld. No matter how horrible my self-concept was, he still told me I was perfect - It made me feel so much better about myself... Like maybe I did deserve him. And now every last bit of me belonged completely and totally to him. And somehow I was okay with that.

I glanced at the clock- 6:00 a.m., read the digital alarm clock screen in brightly lit numbers. Funny, I didn't feel tired-only warm. I turned my attention back to Phil and intertwined our fingers under the blanket.

"Good morning, Phil," I replied, giggling as he leaned down and gently pecked my lips.

"Mm," He hummed, cuddling me to his chest. "You know, as unfortunate as it is, we have school today, baby," He reminded me, trailing his hands over my body and stopping on my hips.

"Who needs school when you have a Phil?" I groaned, resting my head on his chest. I practically felt his playful little eye roll.

"Bear, we have all weekend. We can cuddle and do whatever else you think of later, but I really can't let the fact that I'm in love get in the way of your education." I sighed and pouted in his arms, making him laugh.

"I think we have time for a shower before class, though," He purred, which made my eyes light up.

I officially really, really loved this cabin...

* * *

><p>Ian Hecox knows all, apparently, because as soon as Phil headed off to his locker he came hurtling straight at me and practically tackled me.<p>

"DAN HOWELL, YOU TELL ME ABSOLUTELY _NOTHING!"_He shreiked. I sighed.

"And yet, you still manage to find out about it... What's up?"

"Don't you _DARE _'What's up' me! You moved in with Phil?!" I closed my eyes and counted to ten. I will never understand how he managed to figure these things out.

"Yes, actually, I did," I murmured, blushing as I remembered last night.

"I WANT ALL THE DETAILS RIGHT NOW!"Ian shouted, giddily bouncing on his heels like an excitable little girl. His thirst for gossip was utterly insatiable.

"Well... We sort of... Kind of..." I bit my lip and looked shyly down at my feet. "Hooked up." I swear, his jaw dropped down to the floor, and his eyes glittered like they were only supposed to glitter in cheesy Disney princess films. I half expected him to burst into a round of some _Frozen _song. Fortunately, he didn't, and there were no Pixar songs I was aware of about doing it with your soul mate.

Just as he was opening his mouth to respond(probably through some very girly scream that would make me question whether he truly had a penis), I felt Phil's familiar arms close around my waist, and his squeal turned instantly to an 'aw'! The same sort of sound one might make if they saw a puppy cuddling with a kitten in a duck suit.

"Shut up..." I muttered, curling into Phil as he leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek, giving me that 'fuck-it-I-must-be-Cinderella' feeling.

"Sorry, I just love true love!" He squeaked, and then I spotted Anthony silently walking up behind him.

"Speaking of..." I murmured, rolling my eyes as Anthony scooped him up and spun him around, and then pulled him laughing and waving down the hallway.

"See you at Peej's play later," Ian called over his shoulder as his boyfriend pulled him up the halls. My eyes instantly snapped wide- I'd completely forgotten about that! It was set to be tonight at around six. Instantly my hands broke out in a nervous sweat as I began to imagine anything that could possibly ruin my two best friend's night. But then Phil took my hand and pressed a gentle kiss to it, and immediately I felt ten times better. My nerves seemed to evaporate, to simply melt away like paper in water.

"It'll be fine,honey," Phil told me quietly, and somehow I believed him without even thinking about it. Maybe it was just because nothing was going wrong in my life anymore, and I had no clue why.

As Phil and I set off for class, I looked at his beautiful river-blue eyes and sighed, pushing my hair out of my eyes.

That was definitely a lie. I knew exactly why everything was going right in my life, and I was eternally grateful.

A dork from Northern Ireland had fixed me, made me break all my suddenly ridculous seeming rules and fall head over heels for him.

That twat... That incrediblely handsome, perfect little twat...

* * *

><p><em><strong>Yay fluff and Ianthony and sorry about the wait I'm an idiot and I've been working on the book I'm trying to write and am hoping to get published before college!<strong>_

_**I told my best guy friend IRL that I was worried I was making Dan too fluffy and he responded, 'Dan IS fluffy!' So I decided the more blushing and snuggles and general fluffy unicorn shit the better. Don't judge my fluff loving self!**_

_**Le' reviewses!**_

_**A) FUCK YOU THIS SUCKS**_

_**B)I have a feeling you only write these self- deprecating reviews to get more reviews...**_

_**C)FUCK YOU THIS IS AWESOME**_

**_D)I don't like fluffy puppies snuggling kittens in duck outfits.._**

**_E) Asexual reproduction is what happens when the letter A fucks you!_**

**_F) I read this story and now I can hear colors! HALP!_**

**_Love you, Love you! Please Review!_**

**_P.S. Next chappy might be the play! XD_**


	11. Imagining That

Later that day, as Imagine That was about to begin, Phil and I sat in the crowd, Phil sitting calmly and me pacing and twitching and nervously chewing on my sleeves.

Finally, as I ran into yet another arriving parent and she gave me the look of ultimate go-fuck-yourself, Phil sighed and sweetly pulled me onto his comfortable lap. He brushed my bangs out of my eyes and pecked the top of my forehead. I relaxed into his arms, as naturally as if he'd never not been holding me, but I was still fidgeting quite a bit, so Phil pulled me ever closer. Now my head was resting on his chest, with his strong arms surrounding me, and I could hear his heartbeat. If I twitched about too much right now I'd probably end up hurting him, so I lay still and tried to focus on the rhythmic thumping of his heart.

"It'll be okay, babe," He whispered softly in my ear, so quietly only I could hear. "They've been practicing for _months, _nothing can go wrong!"

"But... But, Phil," I responded just as quietly, burrowing into his soft T-shirt. "Every time nothing could go wrong in my life, it _does_."

"Dan, bear, it's not even your play.."

"Yeah, Philly, but they're my best friends in the whole world- I want this to go right. For once I want them to be able to do something without stupid, helpless little Dan screwing it up!" Phil shifted my position on his lap so that I was looking into his eyes.

"First of all," He began, his lips twitching in threat of that trance-inducing smile of his making an appearance. "It's another plus-five Adorability points for how much you care about your family. Secondly, you do NOT screw things up, Dan Howell, you make them a million times better."

I stared at him for a moment before leaning up and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Thank you," I murmured, and he nodded, flashing that intoxicating grin at me.

"Love you," He told me, and then the auditorium lights began to dim, and he pulled me into a sitting position next to him with our legs crossed over each other's so we could both watch.

The play went perfectly- Chris and Peej remembered all their lines, as did Gemma, the female lead, and the play in itself was astonishingly beautiful.

The play seemed to be a sort of reflection of the life of somebody struggling with their sexual identity-that was relatable as fuck. I suddenly loved this Drama teacher I barely knew a whole lot.

Gemma played a character named Eloise, who was Lane, Peej's role's 'love interest'. But both had their own problems and truthfully only seemed to be together in order to convince themselves they were something which they weren't.

Lane, throughout the production, repetitively snuck off to see Malcolm(Chris), and whenever a fluffy scene with the two came up, many couples watching took advantage of the mood(including Phil and I, if I'm honest).

Eloise's story was a total tear-jerker on the other hand.

She was portrayed as a transexual girl living in a vigorously homophobic household, and there was a part that had me sobbing into Phil's shoulder:

_"I'm a BOY!" Eloise had shreiked, tears rushing down her face as she tried her hardest to explain the way she was feeling to her mother. "What about it don't you understand?! I was born in the wrong body! There's nothing wrong with me; I can't help it!"_

It was at this point that said parent had whipped around and smacked the young teen so hard that she collapsed in a heap onstage.

It was obvious to me that she was modeled after me, with some minor tweaks from PJ to make it less obvious to the rather large portion of the audience who really didn't know me very well at all.

At the end of the production, Eloise met a girl named Lucille who accepted her completely and totally, and loved her for who she was. Malcolm and Lane, with each other's support, came out to their parents, both families accepting them for who they were.

It finished with a line from the narrator:

_"And they all lived happily ever after-imagine that!"_

As the cast came out to each take a bow, they received a well-deserved standing ovation, with Phil and I clapping louder than anybody. I would have to remember to thank Peej for giving me a happy Disney ending, at least fictionally. I could thank Phil for the real life one.

I glanced around as I cheered and whooped and spotted quite a few of our friends jumping and clapping as well.

Ian was standing in the upper part of the theater, clapping loudly with Anthony, Sohinki and Mari cheering right along with him.

Felix and Marzia were joyfully celebrating the play's fantastical success by screaming congratulations at the actors as they applauded, their voices getting lost in the uproar.

I turned back and pressed a kiss directly on Phil's lips before pulling back and resuming my celebrating. Finally, something was going perfectly.

I could have sworn the applause ran longer than the actual play, and it should; it was ten thirty p.m. when Phil and I got home.

I got dressed for bed despite the fact that there was no way I was going to be able to rest with this much adrenaline coursing through my veins. I expected Phil to be sitting on the bed, smiling his perfect, glittery smile and maybe teasingly rubbing it in my face that he was right and I was wrong and nothing bad had happened, and although he was exactly in the location I expected him to be, he wasn't smiling. He was sitting on our matress with a worryingly solemn expression.

"Dan, can you come here a moment? I need to talk to you.." He motioned to the spot next to him, and I sat down , gently taking his hand in mine.

"What's wrong, Philly? Didn't you have a good time?" I asked, frowning as I played with his fingers.

"That's not it, Dan," He took a deep breath before continuing. "Your parents went to jail, I know you know that.."

I nodded slowly, confused. Why on Earth was my boyfriend talking about my parents?!

"Babe, I got a call from London. A jail in London, to be more precise. The jail where your parents are." My heart stopped.

"Dan, they sent us some plane tickets- we're going to visit your parents."

* * *

><p><strong><em>DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!<em>**

**_I know, dat cliffy doe._**

**_Please don't murder me.._**

**_By the way, I know most of this chapter was the play and it probably sucked but.. I thought it worked with the story, okay?_**

**_By the way, Y U NO REVIEW? *insert meme face here*_**

**_Love You, Love You! Please Review!_**

**_P.S. Review if you can't stand Dan's parents!_**


	12. Thank You For Flying With Us Today

I used to love the idea of flying- Of soaring through the air, the wind cool and soft as a pillow, carrying you far from your worries and into the light of a better tomorrow.

Planes, for this reason, fascinated me to no end.

Not today, though.

Today, flying had no appeal at all for me.

Today, the wind wouldn't fly me away from my troubles.

It would take me toward them.

I sat in Phil and I's living room, staring with fearful eyes at our fit-to-burst suitcases.

I jumped as I felt my boyfriend's warm hand on my back, thoughts of my father seeping into my mind.

"Dan, we need to get going if we're going to catch our flight," He murmured gently in my ear. I nodded, barely comprehending what he was saying. He sighed and carefully, as gently as though he was handling a wounded bird, wrapped me in his arms.

"Are you scared?" He asked.

"Y-yes... But I-I'm tr-tr-trying to be b-brave," I sniffled back, feeling tears burn behind my eyes.

"You're allowed to be scared, bear- You have a good reason. But you know what? I won't ever let anything hurt you ever again."

"It already hurts, Phil... It hurts knowing that I h-have to s-s-see them again."

He took my hand in his, raised it to his mouth and kissed it, then set it in his lap, running his thumb over the back of my hand.

"Then I'll make it better, Dan."

* * *

><p>We boarded the plane much too quickly for my liking. Phil let me have the window seat, attempting to let the passing scenery calm my nerves, but I knew all it would do was remind me all the way there that I was getting closer to <em>them.<em>

I gripped the armrest as tightly as I could as the plane started up and began to take off, my stomach lurching. I squeezed my eyes shut tight and even the feeling of Phil's hand on mine couldn't distract me from my thoughts, my awful memories. These people were the reason my life had turned out the way it did.

"Hey, Dan, why don't you tell me about that book you're reading?" Phil whispered softly, prying my hand off the armrest and interlocking our fingers. I squeezed his hand as hard as I could, knowing that I was much too weak to hurt him, as I processed his words.

"What, you mean _Looking For Alaska?_" I felt him nod as he kissed the edge of my jaw. I knew he was only trying to keep my mind off of where we were headed, and it wouldn't work, but I'd gladly play along if it made him feel better.

"I've only read the first couple chapters- I've learned a few famous last words from Miles, the main character."

"Well, is the story good so far?" His voice sounded peppy, but there was an undertone of worry to it that only I would notice- he knew how nervous I was, and despite the circumstances his sweet mannerisms brought a nearly microscopic smile to my face. Truthfully, it couldn't really be labeled as a smile; it was more an ever so slight upward turn at the corners of my mouth, but Phil still flashy a teeny smile back at me.

"There it is," He murmured, relieved. We sat in slience for about a minute before the pilot announced that we were _free to move about the cabin, thank you for flying with us today, _and I unbuckled my belt so I could lean over and press a reassuring kiss to his soft pink lips. Then I moved to grab my phone out of my bag since it was safe to turn it on now.

That was probably a bad idea.

_31 new messages, _read the screen. I sighed, and Phil rolled his eyes as he pulled me into his lap.

I looked back at him, and he shot me a look that said quite plainly to read them because PJ was probably dying worried.

_From: PJ _

_Dan_

_Dan_

_Dan_

_Dan_

_Dan r u on da plane_

_Did the plane crash_

_Did you remember to pack your phone_

_Did you get hit by the plane_

_Are you dead_

_OMG DID I CAUSE TURBULENCE_

_DID I KILL YOU_

_OMG_

_DAAAAAAAAAAN_

_ANSWER_

_YOUR _

_PHONE!_

I rolled my eyes. Peej...

_To: PJ_

_PJ CALM YO TITTIES_

I hit send and looked at my other texts.

_From: Ian_

_DAN AND PHIL_

_SITTIN IN A PLANE_

_DAN DONT IGNORE ME_

_THIS IS A RARE OPPURTUNITY TO MAKE THAT JOKE_

_JK_

_KK ILY BY_

I seriously didn't want to answer those, so I left them alone.

There was one from Chris, who was a bit less obsessively protective than Peej.

_From: Chris_

_I love you, little bro. 3 Remember that Peej and I are your family. We're here for you. Xoxo!_

I smiled.

_To: Chris_

_Thx 3_

Finally, I looked at the number from which the rest of them came...

It was Phil's. I shot him a curious look, to which he responded by giggling and ruffling my hair before placing his arms firmly around my waist.

_They don't control you._

I stared. Then I scrolled down.

_I love you._

_Stay strong, sweetheart_

_You don't belong to them. You're mine; they don't get to hurt you anymore_

_You're my whole life, Dan_

I felt myself begin to tear up from the thought of how much he loved me. A tear slipped out of my eye despite my best efforts to hold them in, and he kissed it away.

"This is just a vacation, okay, honey?" He told me in his velvety voice. "Don't let them ruin it, Dan. They don't get to hurt you anymore."

I nodded and curled back into him, seriously thinking about staying that way for the rest of my life.

Until this plane landed, I was going to force those thoughts out of my head and the heaviness out of my heart.

Until I saw them, I _would _feel safe.

But when my eyes finally rested upon them once again I had no clue what I was going to do.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Ch-ch-ch-chappy!<strong>_

_**Ian did what we all probably would have.**_

_**These Review Thingymabobins:**_

**_A) Why are you allowed to exist?_**

**_B) OMG THEY ARE NO GAY GAY IS NO HOW U TINK DAT I AM HOMOPHOBE DICKHEAD_**

**_C) Dan can only be with two people in this world: Me or Phil._**

**_D) Does Dan smell like lemongrass and sleep?_**

**_E) GET TO DA DRAMA (there's gonna be some soon)_**

**_F) DID I KILL YOU_**

**_G)My ovaries are like fireworks, they like to explode._**

**_Love You, Love You! Please Review!_**


	13. Wounds That Never Healed

I stared out the window of the yellow taxi cab as it drove down the boulevard.

After the plane had landed Phil and I had taken the underground to get to our admittedly large and beautiful hotel room, slept a good seven or eight hours, and then called the aforementioned cab.

_Don't fear the Devil, he was once an angel, _I reminded myself. Then, I snorted. That statement was utterly ludicrous. My father had never been an angel. I felt like crying, but it seemed after doing it so often lately my tear ducts had finally run dry, so I just reached over and squeezed Phil's hand and let him play with my hair. He didn't ask if I was okay, either, because he obviously knew: No. I was most definitely _not _okay.

_Five._

The taxi began to slow a bit, and I averted my gaze from the window as a large stone building came into view.

_Four._

I curled closer to Phil, and he rubbed soft, comforting circles into my back.

_Three._

There would be glass between us. Bulletproof and therefore insane freaky child-abusing weirdo proof.

_Two._

But Phil couldn't be there with me. Did I _want _Phil to see him? Did I want Phil to see her? I had barely thought about my mother, she was an unimportant brain dead puppet.

_One._

I shook uncontrollably as I slid off the seat of the cab and placed my feet on the cold asphalt. This wasn't okay. _I _wasn't okay. Phil walked hand in hand with me into the waiting room and held me on his lap while we awaited them to inevitably call me back to see her first, then my dad- using the term 'dad' loosely, of course.

When I finally stood on legs like jelly, I ordered my feet to carry me forward away from my sweet, loving Philly and toward a woman who apparently enjoyed children's torture. I sank slowly into a drilled-into-the-motherfucking-_floor_ chair and put a plastic mouthpiece up next to my head. I forced myself to look her in the eyes; there was no way I would give her the satisfaction of thinking I was still afraid of her(even though I was).

"Dan..." She whispered softly, staring at me with eyes that had been dulled from their years of staring endlessly at cold stone walls.

"Hello." I responded curtly. I wished that she'd not look at me like that. Actually, I just kind of wished she'd stop looking at me, period.

"What are you doing here?" She asked dreamily, gazing off into space. It occurred to me that she might actually be a bit nuts.

"Don't think I'm here because I want to be-" I started, but she cut me off.

"It was nice seeing you. Love you. Have a nice day, honey." And with that, she stood, turned, and walked out of the room.

I felt strangely calm, though I should have been furious. I guess that was one less person to fear- she wasn't exactly threatening, was she? I still hated her, but not as much, now that I had a microscopic bit of closure. She wasn't a sadist. She was just crazy.

I stepped back into the waiting room while they went to get my father and carefully moved back into Phil's arms.

"Well, that was quick. How'd it go?" He muttered, catching my chin between his thumb and forefinger and searching my face for some sign of sadness.

"She said hi. Then I love you. Then bye." I snorted- how ridiculous. I actually giggled a bit, and Phil pressed a brief peck to my lips before shooting me a relieved look.

"So, okay?" He asked, arching one eyebrow.

"Yeah, for now." My stomach tightened and I nervously bit my lip. I knew my boyfriend knew exactly what I meant and he gave my midsection a quick reassuring squeeze.

I shouldn't need to see this man for anything. They called my name, and I buried my face in Phil's shoulder. I didn't _want _to be brave anymore. But he gently pulled my head back off of his hoodie and smooched my forehead, whispering softly into my ear:

_"I'll be right here when you get back. I love you,"_

* * *

><p>My interaction with my father went a bit differently than the one I'd held with Mom- hey, that's the first time I've thought of her as Mom. Weird.<p>

"Hey," He snarled maliciously into the speaker. I cursed myself for flinching.

"H-Hi," I stuttered. I didn't really care all that much how small I both looked and sounded.

"Have you managed to grow a pair yet?" He growled, and I stared at my sneakers without answering.

"_Hey!"_ He shouted, slamming his fist down on the table and making me jump. "Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

I tried to raise my gaze off the ground, but caught a glimpse of his face and thought better of it.

"Still can't do it, can you? You always were a wimp, you worthless sack of shit," He told me, voice oozing malice. "Say, you got a girlfriend yet?" He asked annoyedly.

"No, sir," I responded.

"Why not?"

"B-b-because..." I honestly didn't ever plan on saying the next thing that came out of my mouth. Not to him, anyway.

"Because I don't like girls. I'm gay," I said. The silent tension hung like a veil between us for a moment.

Then:

"I always knew you were a bitch, but how the hell did I raise a _faggot?!" _I hated that word. I hated him. I hated the word even more when he said it.

"You didn't raise me, and d-don't call me that!" I shouted, hating the way my voice still shook.

"Don't you dare tell me what to do!" He screeched, and suddenly there were guards trying to restrain him and I was running into the waiting room and falling into Phil's arms; bawling into the crook of his neck.

"Shh..." Phil whispered. "I'm right here, babe..." And he led me outside and helped me into the taxi that he'd paid to wait on our getting back.

He never once asked me what was wrong.

It was the same thing that was always wrong... The same thing thing that had broken me all those horrible years ago.

It was only now I realized the wounds had never really healed.

* * *

><p><strong><em>I'm sorry! I know that I promised drama... Damn my depressing self.<em>**

**_LEAVE MY DANNY BEAR ALONE! I WILL HM01 YOU UP BITCH!_**

**_HM01 is the Poke`mon move for Cut by the way._**

**_I hope you liked this shitty little trainwreck._**

**_This was all over the place :P._**

**_No flames please!_**

**_Also..._**

**_Why is it that you won't review?..._**

**_Love You, Love You! Please Review!_**

**_P.S. This chappy, awful though it may be, is dedicated to JMLHCPKSfan. You should check out her story Silence Is Serenity if you like BTR. _**

**_P.P.S. Love you AustinAllyAuslly! You crazy muthafucka, you're the best! 3_**

**_P.P.P.S. Yo, Unwritten! Friendship always wins!_**

**_P.P.P.P.S. I still liek pie._**

**_P.P.P.P.P.S. I'll shut up now._**


	14. The London Eye Love You

I jumped out of the taxi before it had even completely stopped and dashed through the hotel's big front doors. As soon as I was in the lobby, I turned and fell against the wall with my back to it, not caring that I was probably receiving some pretty strange looks, cradled my head in my hands and cried.

I would rather eternally sob in private, but I couldn't get into our hotel room because Phil had the key, and he was still outside, so this would have to do.

After a few moments of my sitting alone there, I heard someone slide down beside me and pull me ever so gently into their arms. They were being so careful, as though if they moved too quickly I'd shatter like glass. I knew without even glancing up that it was Phil.

"Hey, shhh..." He whispered, kissing the top of my head. "It's okay, baby... You're alright."

He placed a gentle arm around my waist and carefully helped me to my feet and into a nearby lift. I wiped furiously at my eyes- I was so completely _ridiculous._

"S-sorry," I choked out, trying to slow my breathing and failing because I was still choking on tears.

"No, don't be sorry. Just let it out, bear..." The lift dinged, and Phil led me down the hall and into our room, through the small kitchenette and into the bedroom. I lay down on the rather large matress and shut my eyes tight, then opened them again. All my dreams would be filled with _his_ face.

"How are we feeling?" Phil asked, pulling the covers back and tucking me into them before climbing underneath them with me and pulling me into his chest. I put my ear over his heart and tried to focus on the rhythmic thumping.

At least the actual, physical tears had slowed. They had nearly stopped.

"Dan?" Phil said, looking for an answer to his previous question.

"I just want to sleep..._forever._" I muttered, curling further into my boyfriend in desperate need of comfort. He intertwined our fingers under the comforter.

"Then try to sleep it off, and I'll be here when you wake up," He said softly. I nodded and clenched my eyes shut.

After a few hours of slight tossing and turning, I finally fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

><p>The next morning when I woke up, I didn't move. I just lay there as though I had died.<p>

He couldn't reach me if I stayed in the room. Therefore, I'd just not leave.

I was just contemplating whether it was possible to stay in this bed forever when my stomach gave an embarrassingly loud rumble. I blushed and swung my feet over the bed.

The answer was no, no it was most certainly _not_ possible.

I shuffled into the kitchenette to grab a bagel, but as I was about to close my fingers around a paticularlyblueberry-filled one I felt a pair of strong arms pull me back.

"_Phiiiiilll..."_ I whined.

"Nope, you're not eating that," He singsonged, and I turned around to pout at him.

"But I'm _hunnnngryyyyy,"_ He snickered and gave me a soft peck on the lips.

"Well, too bad! I have a better meal plan than blueberry bagels for us." I stared at him, confused.

"Huh?" I asked, arching one eyebrow.

"Your parents aren't going to ruin our vacation," He told me, and I let out an audible gasp.

"Phil, I'm not going-" He cut me off with a kiss.

"Bear, d'you trust me? I wouldn't ever let anything or anyone hurt you, would I?"

"Yeah..." I murmured. He smiled gently at me.

"Good, 'cause I have plans! Go get dressed real quick- I think that your bedhead and pajamas are adorable, but the rest of London might not." I flushed bright red and went to put on some jeans and a black t-shirt.

Nothing was going to happen- Phil would protect me...

* * *

><p>Phil pulled me into another cab with a grin and pulled a blindfold out of his pocket. I rolled my eyes.<p>

"_Seriously,_ Phil?! Can't you just tell me where it is that you're taking me?"

"Nope, it's a surprise!" I giggled and let him tie the blindfold around my head.

I closed my eyes beneath the fabric and cuddled up to Phil, humming contentedly, until the cab stopped and I heard first the left door opening and the mine. I felt around for Phil's hands for a moment before he laughed and scooped me up out of my seat.

I stumbled as my feet hit the pavement, and Phil steadied me with a soft chuckle.

"I swear to God or whatever the fuck is up there, if I fall because of you I will withold sex for a month," I warned, and he burst out laughing.

"Okay, okay," He sighed in mock disappointment as he untied the blindfold and pulled it away. I grinned a giant grin at what I saw.

"God, marry me! ShakeAway for breakfast?!" He nodded and sniggered at my reaction.

"Shakes are quite possibly the best thing that's ever been created- besides you, of course." I blushed. "Is this an appropriate time to tell you how much I love you, Dan?"

"Mhm,"

"I love you. More than lions and kittens and ShakeAway and anime and Totoro."

"I love you, too- as much as Malteasers."

"Wow, I knew you loved me, but not _that _much! I feel special," I giggled and pressed a kiss to his lips.

"Thank you for existing. And loving me back. And being just all-around perfect."

* * *

><p>Needless to say, the aforementioned shakes were foodgasm- worthy. Then we went to a shop called TokyoToys™ where Phil bought a board game and I bought a book called the Poke`mon Essential Handbook. Now, we were boarding the London Eye as the day finally drew to a close.<p>

I lit-ra-lee didn't ever think I'd be able to enjoy myself in London, but in truth I hadn't even thought about my father since this morning and I was almost sad that we were leaving tomorrow. I smiled as the wheelproperly started moving and I looked out over the city. I leaned up against Phil and suddenly nothing was wrong.

I may have been broken, but I think he's finally fixed me. Those wounds had glossed over.

There was nothing left but slight scars.

"I'll love you forever," I murmured softly to Phil.

"Ditto- I love you too. Forever,"

I closed my eyes and just relaxed into his warm embrace, smiling more than I ever had.

Before it had seemed like I was drowning in those awful memories, but now?

I could just _float..._

* * *

><p><em><strong>I'm sorry for the emotional rollercoaster! <strong>_

_**Review-see-Eeeeeees!(What the fuck is that):**_

_**A) I'm a lumberjack and it's okay!**_

_**B) What the hell?!**_

_**C)...Dafaq?...**_

_**D) FUCK YOU I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!(That's for you, XxUnwrittenxX! My fellow Rage fan!)**_

_**E)Eeeeeevvery night in Dan's dreams, He sees Phil, He feeeeeels him...**_

_**F) I haz a Pheels ache.**_

_**G) *HSM reference out the ass***_

_**Love You, Love You! Please Review!**_


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